Elemental.:musings

2002-06-25T01:53:00.000-07:00

Please see www.deadjournal.com

2002-03-19T20:59:00.000-08:00

2002-03-19T19:18:00.000-08:00

The Trouble with Acrylic Nails -- or Why I Think Fake Nails are the Spawn of Evil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First of all, I'm not what you'd call a "girly girl." Most of my life I've had what you'd call functional nails. You can type with 'em, pry with 'em, use 'em as all sorts of tools. In January, I decided to do something I've never done before -- get a set of acrylic nails. I decided on a reasonable length -- but long enough that I could get a cool airbrush design on them (stars and moon -- very witchy!)

My biggest concern was how I'd pull up my pants after using the bathroom (I'm nail-challenged, what can I say?) But after a couple of weeks with my fake nails (and sturdy ones, too!) I mastered the jerk and pull with no problems. And it only took a few times of experiencing pain before I no longer had to consciously think before I grabbed/pulled anything using my fingers and NOT my nails. By the third week of having my new talons, I broke off a couple. Just the tips, thank goodness! I've heard enough horror stories about worse breaks!

After the broken nails, I peeled off the rest of the nails on my own. That was an interesting exercise in patience, I'll tell ya! Afterwards, I went several days with my "old" functional (short) nails. On the fourth day, I decided it was strange not to have longer nails and my short, stubby nails looked gross and unappealing. I had to admit -- I missed the longer, airbrushed counterparts. Since when did I become a "girly girl" who cared about long nails? Back in January it had been merely an experiment in trying something new -- I didn't realize I'd get hooked on having more artistic and aesthetically appealing nails! Was I growing an additional feminine gene? Hmmmm.

So, come the end of February, I broke down and got another full set of acrylic nails. This time a bit longer and with cute, arched-up black cats on them (again, how witchy!) Now that I'm a month into having my second set, I'm sure I'll get these babies filled and airbrushed again with some exotic or (perhaps witchy?) design.

Although my typing is slowed by these claws of artistry, I rather find that I like the creative nature of having animals and images of my choosing on the nails. Many people actually stop me in the store to compliment me on them -- something I'm not sure how to handle. I still view these fake digital appendages in a detached way of sorts -- they have become a sort of tolerated addition to my body. It's a love-hate thing, and if there's such a thing as an evil entity, I know he or she seduced me into loving these nails and now I'm forever in their clutches.

There once was a time when I thought women who had acrylic nails were vain and superficial. Of course, now that I sport them, that can't possibly be the truth. Can it?

~Bev~

2002-03-19T18:46:00.000-08:00

NOTE TO FAMILY/FRIENDS FOR MARCH 2002 --

Hello, everyone - a short update on what's happening
on our end --

It's Tuesday, but it SEEMS like it should be
a Thursday - I wish it were so! So far this week I've put out
the latest Inscriptions issue, worked on the site, answered a gazillion
emails (TONS per week!) related to Inscriptions, finished a paper
on the moral defensibility of the death penalty and started a new
online class for freelance students. Not out of the woods yet as
far as work, though - for that would be FAR too easy!

Still to come this week: three essays due, a 50-question
test on Thurs, a group event to perform the end of this week
(Ostara) and my birth brother (with partner) rolling
into town tomorrow afternoon to spend a couple of
nights at my place. I need to escape - got any room?!

Then I have the next issue of Inscriptions to produce and
deliver come the weekend and I'll be gone March 25 - 27 to
Cottonwood Springs up in Buena Vista, CO. I've been
invited to go up with my friend Pam and her boyfriend,
Gary and possibly another friend. Gary's dying from lupus
and he wants to have a last gathering of friends for his
birthday, which is on March 26th. He may not make
it for his bday next year.

I wanna go up there 'cause they have these neat
spa-type activities AND a full moon celebration - right
up my alley! Going up there w/ Gary and Pam, they
can do their own thing and I can just do the spa thing
by myself.

Here's the URL to check it out:

http://www.cottonwood-hot-springs.com/

Have to say I'm excited about going - I've
always wanted to go to this type of place!
And I'd never go just by myself - however,
if it turns out to be three of us, then they'll be
there but I can go off alone and maybe get one
of those massages and pamper m'self!

Let's see ... next week I'm off school for spring
break and then I'll only have about a month left
before the semester is over - is it really true that
I'll be finishing up my THIRD semester at UCCS?
Seems like only yesterday that I was going BACK
to college - where does the time go? Don't plan to
go over summer - I'll be busy enough with writing/
editing work - but will start back in Fall with a
full class load again.

Also - will prolly make a trip to Oklahoma sometime
in the near future so the kids can visit the grandparents.
Will prolly swing by and see my mom and brother, Barry,
too.

Finally, some *awesome* news about my son, Jonathan --
he has been selected to the city boys' chorale and will perform April
19 at the Pikes Peak center downtown. How cool is
that?! I'm the proud momma, will tell ya that! =) Took
pix of his NJHS (Nat'l Junior Honor Society) induction, but
haven't had them developed yet - will send along when I do!
He's made straight A's the last three grading periods! Britt is
making A's and B's, too - awesome stuff, indeed! Definitely
following in her bro's footsteps!

Well, I guess that's it from this end -- hope you and
yours are doing well!

Bev, Jon and Britt Porter

2002-03-18T23:50:00.000-08:00

Holy crap! It's the end of MARCH almost?! What the *** happened?!

(ahem)

Sorry for the outburst.

So here's what's been going on: the beginning of March, I took over the gargantuan task of editing Inscriptions Magazine. It's very fulfilling and I'm finally finding some sort of rhythm - but it's a lot of work! To check it out, go to http://www.inscriptionsmagazine.com. The publication is targeted toward professional writers, btw. =)

Also - hmmm...I'm plugging away at college at Univ of Colorado for my spring semester. Sem ends near May 7 and no, I'm not taking summer classes at ALL. I'll have plenty to take care of over summer, thank you! (grin)

Otherwise, there's been a lot of activity on the homefront -- mainly different situations rearing their heads and all of that. I have a friend who's very sick and dying of an incurable disease, plus some other issues I really can't go into here. Suffice it to say that with school, job and personal chaos, this month's been VERY challenging, but interesting! And hey, isn't that the prime definition of life itself?

Hmmm -- I'd better get to bed, but I wanted to mention that I made up a memorial page for my late husband, Gary. It's my way of doing a virtual memorial of sorts, I guess. If you care to take a look, the page is at: http://www.scribequill.com/GaryMemorial.html.
If you stop by, please sign the guestbook. Thanks!

All for now. Sleep beckons!

B~

2002-02-25T15:45:00.000-08:00

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I took the target="_blank">What Mythological Creature Are you? test by
!

I'm baaack!

2002-01-02T22:55:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year...last one! For tonight, anyway...so, what's your New Year's resolution??

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

2002-01-02T22:46:00.000-08:00

Stop me...someone STOP me! OMG, I'm ....Carrot Top! And you are...? (Go ahead...I dare ya!)

2002-01-02T22:44:00.000-08:00

Argh - okay. I'm addicted to these damn quizzes - the inane, insane quizzes on the Net. It's like banging my head against a brick wall - but I just keep doing it! ARGH! Apparently, I'm Greg Brady. It's time for me to go barf now, lol!

Which Brady Bunch kid are you most like?

2002-01-02T22:34:00.000-08:00

Wow - can't believe I've been away for so many days! Well, the holidays...they just get you caught up in them, I suppose. Yule was very nice...the altar was lovely and we burned a Yule log and exchanged gifts. It was very quaint and a good time was had by all.
Christmas day was spent at my best friend's house - she cooked a lovely roast with all the trimmings and we just relaxed and socialized. New Year's Eve was interesting...we decided to do a past-life regression session (my first ever) and it was fascinating to participate and see what experiences each person had. Kind of amazing, too, because I really didn't think it would work on me..but it did! Seems I allegedly used to live as an Amish girl in Pennsylvania...hmmm. If I'd have to choose a past life, that wouldn't be a choice I'd EVER make! Nothing against Amish, mind you...it's just that I thought I'd come up with something more exotic!

Just can't get over that it's 2002 already. Seemed like only yesterday it was the year 2000 - life is zipping by WAY too fast, and I don't like it one bit. Let's hope 2002 brings a reprieve from sadness for our nation - I hope I never seen a replay of the events of September 11th, 2001.

It's fairly late and I'm rather tired tonight, so I know I'm not offering up much in the way of substantial thoughts...but hey, at least I did post something for the New Year - finally!

More to follow....

2001-12-20T22:53:00.000-08:00

The trip to Scotland was marvelous - we saw so many things, it was incredible. We got to see SIX castles and it was SO awesome to traipse around Edinburgh - both the old and the new sections of the city. We ate lunch at a place called The Witchery - they used to hang witches outside of the place in the 1600s! It's a very well-known place - lots of celebs have eaten there! The atmosphere was VERY pagan - but quite frankly, the food was sparse, expensive, and tasted below average. =( I think people eat there just to SAY they've been there! LOL. They DO have a website at http://www.thewitchery.com if you care to check it out!

Edinburgh castle was probably my second favorite (next to Eilean Donan castle) and the view from the castle is magnificent!
We saw the crown jewels of Scotland, but couldn't take pix in there . Saw the room where James I of England be James the 6th of Scotland> was born - he was the son of Mary Queen of Scots - was born.

Also visited the memorial to soldiers/sailors of the Royal Air Force - they had TONS of books with names of fallen soldiers from many wars - it was somber, indeed. The Great Hall which houses suits of armor, various swords, shields, and other assorted finery, nearly took my breath away. There was also a grand stone fireplace and stained glass windows of blue, red, yellow, white and green which had names of some of Scotland's bravest and best kings/warriors etched in them.

As you enter the section of the castle with the Great Hall, you see the crest of Scotland with the rampant lion and the unicorn on it - both symbols of the country. When I viewed them, along with the weapons, I felt a sense of pride and nationalism sweep through me - all of a sudden I understood WHY the Scottish people preferred autonomy from England. You can still hear sarcastic humor on the part of the Scot's regarding England and Englishmen. It's all in good fun, but you KNOW underneath all that that there is a grain of truth in it!

On the grounds of Edinburgh castle stands St. Margaret's Chapel - a beautiful little chapel that can only fit maybe 10 to 20 people inside, if that! The stained glass windows were exquisitely designed. Inside there's a small altar with an altar cloth and a Bible on top. This was the family's private chapel - their personal place of solace and worship. Although I'm not Christian, you could sense the spiritual energy in the place and a quietness wafted over everyone who entered that sacred space.

Edinburgh - what is NOT to love about it?! I just fell in LOVE with that city! The old section is charming and there are so many quaint
little closes that you can wander through and find neat things - like I discovered a writer's museum when I
walked through one of them! =) The displays were a tribute to mainly Robbie Burns and Robert Louis Stevenson - also
got to travel to Robbie Burn's cottage and to see the churchyard that inspired him to write "Tam o' Shanter" where he talks about
the wild, dancing witches, the leader of the witches is named Cutty Sark - an interesting fact that I didn't know! I'd heard of
Cutty Sark whisky before, but....

Went to Glasgow and that was cool - not as much as Edinburgh, though . Got to see Stirling Castle, William Wallace's monument, Loch Ness and shopped till we dropped in the woolen mills - they were AWESOME! Brought back some Lindisfarne mead, which was tremendously yummy! I want MORE, waaah! The shopping in Scotland is incredible! Not that I'm a shopaholic by ANY means - but the bargains were unbelievable. I came home with a fleece coat for 14 pounds and I'm sure if I'd purchased it here in the U.S., I'd have paid $50 - $60 for the SAME coat!

About William Wallace - the statue looked like Mel Gibson and they had a fence around it - cause people keep chipping off
parts of stone to take with them! Of all the art/architecture I saw there - and the statues - his was the ONLY one that had a barrier
of some sort around it! Wallace was a 6'7" giant of a man and his sword was FIVE FEET, SEVEN INCHES long! Geesh!
I'd have paid to go back in time to see him wield that heavy thing! Needless to say, he was a giant among his countrymen!

Another cool castle was Culzean Castle - the entranceway is amazing - it's decorated with 400 swords and 900 pistols! When you walk through the elaborately decorated rooms resplendant with period furniture and artwork, you feel like you've literally gone back in time hundreds of years. The gardens of the castle were meticulously cared for and you felt like you were walking in the Garden of Eden, so to speak. There was also a herd of red deer nearby, just lounging in the early morning daylight. SO very peaceful!

My favorite castle, hands-down, was Eilean Donan. That's the castle where they filmed the movie, "Highlander." I swear, once
I got in there, I didn't want to leave! As we crossed the bridge over the water making our way toward the castle, I tried to
envision what it must have been like to live in that castle. We spent a long time looking out over the loch from the stone overlook there. The wind was quite brisk that day, and I remember standing there alone and closing my eyes, breathing in the air and drawing in the ancient energies all around me. I felt at home and at peace. It was a moment of profound deja vu!

During the tour, we were fed for what seemed like ALL the time - but alas, the food was often a bit bland and I had my fill of "tatties
and peeps" for one week Also tried haggis several times and had some scotch for the first time in my life! That night I especially remember because we were gathered in the entertainment section of the old and majestic Ben Wyvis hotel in Strathpeffer up in the highlands. A local band provided music - well, it was two guys w/ guitars - not REALLY a band! They were dressed in these god-awful plaid shirts, had a 70s look about them, and they were playing nothing but old American hits - like Roy Orbison, etc.! In between sets, they would tell these lame jokes, but everyone laughed nonetheless.
We had a dear old Scottish couple next to us and they chatted with us for quite a while till we retired to our rooms around midnight.
Also had a tarty English gent near us, too. He heard our accents and asked if we were "yanks." =)

The highlands were SO beautiful - it was like stepping back into centuries long before! The Isle of Skye was my hands-down fave --
it's so utterly green and enchanting up there that you are literally standing in the midst of postcard-level beauty. One thing about the highlands is that they're racing toward the 19th century. We had NO phones at ALL in the hotel, and for the first night, NO hot water as the big, ancient boilers broke down! The curtains and furniture are old and heavy - and the only real modern-day convenience you
had was an old television set that had maybe three channels on it at best. LOL. Oh - there was an electric tea warmer in there,
too. One thing's for sure - you won't find many hotels in the UK w/o a tea maker in the room!

During our trip, each night we went on various excursions - to a Best of Scotland show with dancers/pipers/singers, and to several
fancy dinners/shows - we also visited world-famous Harry Ramsden's in Glasgow - that was delish! We also trekked up to see Robert the Bruce's statue That night we were also treated to recitations of Robbie Burn's poetry, including the aforementioned "Tam O'Shanter" and the "Address to the Haggis."

We also saw the cave where Rob Roy and his clan used to hang out - we took a boat across Loch Lomond and the Trossachs were breathtakingly beautiful! During the boat ride, we were treated to coffee and tea, and then, later, to drams of whisky and what tasted like Irish Creme liquor - the Scottish people are always plying guests with something - either food or drink!

Overall, I took 15 rolls of film - some of which are at: http://briefcase.yahoo.com/scribequill It was definitely a trip of a lifetime - and I'd go back in a heartbeat for sure! The hospitality of the people - and the UNIQUE brand of Scottish humor won me over. It sure
as hell didn't hurt to see men in kilts over there on a regular basis, either! Our tour director wore one nearly every day and I must say that he had GREAT legs! =) I say it takes a REAL man to wear a kilt!!

So that was the trip to Scotland - something I'll NEVER forget. I can't believe we made it over there - some days I cannot believe it REALLY happened! But alas, I have the photos to look at when I'm older and more sedate, and I can smile, knowing that I had the pleasure of taking both my kids and my mother on a trip of a lifetime!

2001-12-18T14:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a special day - I felt very loved and cared for by a host of friends and family. I think it was the best birthday I've had for years - that I can remember. Jean, who is an Internet friend of mine, sent me the following missive. It brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat:

You are a little wiser today, truer to yourself,
and more confident and comfortable
than you were the year before.
You are stronger and deeper on the inside
because of the experiences life has given you.
You are softer around the edges because of the things
you have let go of along the way.
You are clearer about your dreams and your purpose,
and richer because of the laughter, love,
and friendship you have shared . . .
And the gifts you have gathered
just make you all the more beautiful.

My best friend, Sherri, made a bday dinner for me last night - with red velvet cake (a type of cake I've wanted for a long time). Surrounded by a circle of my covenmates and friends, I wanted to encapsulate the experience in time so I could retrieve the feelings over and over again. In the midst of the festivities, my artistic and incredible friend, Cyndy, called on the phone. Her voice is so cheery and heartwarming. At the time I called, I was opening the gift she'd sent me. Lovely colored paper hanging lamp in the shape of a star - a pentacle, actually. Unique and so very "Cyndy-ish." My heart grew that much warmer with gratitude.

There was another moment in time last night - an experience with another, long-time friend - that made time stand still for me and brought forth very intense emotions. Loved. Yes, I'm very well loved by many, and it feels so awfully grand. I can only hope that in some way or another I can make those people feel the same way and let them know how special they are in my life!

Many people long for wealth or riches. I'm already wealthy - the treasure I possess is in the friends and family I love so dearly!

2001-12-17T11:52:00.000-08:00

Today I turned 37 - well, actually, not till 10:40 p.m., but it's close enough. Inching evermore toward 40, I wonder how I'll feel when that benchmark arrives! Received a lot of cute e-cards today - so many sweet people out there whom I cherish greatly. Considering the idea of more of life's years slipping away frightens me. How in the hell did I get to be THIS age so quickly?

Yesterday I took the kids to the shelter and adopted a kitty. If I couldn't save Shadow from illness, I might as well save another life from euthanasia. She'll never replace Shadow, but she's very cute and has made herself right at home here. My oldest cat, KiKi, hates her already. But KiKi hates any other animals - except for the birds. I suppose they're not threatening. She just ignores them. Our new cat is once again a black one - they seemed to have a lot of them at the shelter. People abandon them a lot, from what one of the attendants told us. I happen to love black cats - they're so classy and sleek! But I digress (as usual). Our new cat's name is Isis Nefertiti (I gave her a middle name this morning). Obviously very Egyptian. She "talks" a lot - more than Shadow ever did. Our other cat, KiKi, has always been a "talker," too. Sometimes it's cute, other times it's like little children rambling on in order to gain your attention/affection. :)

2001-12-15T21:02:00.000-08:00

This'll be short, because I'm tired and I need to rest. My cat, Shadow, died yesterday. He was very sick - had cancer in his bone marrow - and we knew he was going to go, but that never makes things easy, does it? My daughter was so attached to him - she's just incredibly heartbroken. A mother feels so helpless when one of her children is hurting so much - and you want to erase that hurt and take it all back. When you can't, it's a haunting feeling of powerlessness. I remember that so well when my husband died in May of this year - in fact, I still feel that way many times. After he died, my daughter concentrated a lot of her energy and emotions into Shadow; he was her "baby" of sorts. They were always together - this little girl has suffered so much heartbreak. My son has, too. I don't want to minimize what he has been through, because he has come face-to-face with realities that NO 12-year-old should have to contend with.

Basically, the fairness of life sucks at times. It blows. It bites. It honks big bobo, as a dear friend of mine would say. Sometimes it's like a serrated knife just cuts, slashes, and rips open your soul and leaves it there to bleed in front of everyone. You try to pretend you're not hemorrhaging, but people can see the blood coursing from you. Everyone has advice for you; everyone knows what's best for you and your family. It's often confusing and sometimes annoying. I mean, if they can't get their OWN life straight, who are they to tell you what should be your next move? I usually just listen, nod my head, and then I proceed to do what I want to anyway. It's not that I don't listen, but I try to listen to all of it and then assess what works and what doesn't work for my own family. Sometimes the decisions I make are a combination of what several people have said to me. Sometimes the decisions I make are just my own assessments.

I think sometimes the reason why people stay married despite rocky problems (like I did) is because it's a comfortable niche where we're so entrenched in the familiar flow that we don't want to test the strange waters out in the world anymore. In a marriage, we have that safety cushion. We have that "sameness" and the routine. I used to be petrified of that strangeness - I thrived on the routine and the comfort of someone sleeping next to me every night. I won't lie - I MISS sleeping with a partner. But I'm no longer afraid of the strangeness. I can't say I'm comfortable with it, but I'm finding my own groove. I've realized that I only have myself and my children, and that's okay with me. I'm not the same person I was earlier in the year when my husband died - I have grown an armor of sorts. Do I feel angry? Yes, I'm angry over being thrust into utter chaos by the unexpected death of a spouse. I hate to watch the shit my kids have gone through because of our own personal tragedy. But I can't change the past, I can only move toward the future. A future that is completely unknown to me; a future where I can't really say where I'll be in ten years or what I'll be doing. I just hope like hell that somewhere in that future that happiness is part of the end equation. And I plan to do everything I can to insure that we will all find peace and happiness. Or something close enough.

2001-12-13T14:29:00.000-08:00

I love lemurs!

2001-12-13T09:40:00.000-08:00

Feels like ice cold water running through my veins...I haven't seen the tape released of Usama bin Laden yet, but I just came from CNN.com and read key quotes from the translated tape. In Wicca, we believe in the Rede, which states - "An ye harm none - with one caveat: LEST IT BE IN SELF DEFENSE." The last part is important, because otherwise you might as well prostrate yourself and allow everyone and his mother to walk all over you and harm you in the most twisted of ways. I have to say that right now after reading the quotes from the tape, I feel very still inside, very angry, very sorrowful. After reading his quotes, go view the list of victims of the Sept 11th attacks - they're sorted by alpha order, state order, country order, age order - you name it. I've shuffled and sorted through all options, scrolling through the names and viewing the photographs. None of these people I know, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all, because I still weep for their loss, and I'm damned angry! Senseless, senseless, senseless.

I wonder what I'd do or say if I was the one who captured Usama bin Laden - what would it feel like? Would one be tempted just to bring him to justice right there, without benefit of our civilized court system? Why in hell does he get a chance to live one more second, when he murdered so many thousands in a matter of seconds/minutes? It would be tempting, but I couldn't do it; I couldn't kill him, nonetheless. Why? Because I'm civilized. Because I still respect justice. Because I'm an American who has enough class and honor to pursue justice in the proper way - I'm not a coward like Usama bin Laden. I don't hide in caves like a scared bastard. I want to scream, "Show your face - show your face in PERSON, you heartless wad of diabolical shit!"

I think of the pilots running sorties over there and dropping bombs - I think of our military over there and words can never thank them enough for their service and for defending my freedom and the freedom of my family. I was raised an Army dependent - a military brat, if you will. I'm a patriot, although I'm not in the military - I get weepy-eyed when I see a color guard or hear the national anthem. Al-Quaeda hates me; they hate my country; they hate our spirit and the very thing we all stand for. But I have news for them - till I take my last breath, I'm an American and my country will not fall to soul-less thugs who kills, maim, and murder in the name of zealotry, ignorance, and misinterpretation of the Koran.

Lest it be in self-defense...

2001-12-12T22:31:00.000-08:00

One final note before bed - The Princess Bride was on cable today. (Smile) My fave movie! Many, many hidden and special meanings..."As you wish." Rapier wit. True romance. Undying love. Lovely clothes.

segue:

DISCO!

(wink)

'Night, U!

2001-12-12T22:02:00.000-08:00

Today was a total waste - glad I slacked yesterday, because today was just not fun. Took my car in and learned a host of wonderful problems with it - the result was a day in the shop and a bill that I grimaced over whilst writing the check for payment. I'm pretty damned upset over the situation with my front and rear brakes being in such bad shape; after all, a year ago I paid a LOT of money to have the whole system done - over $400, mind you. Now I find out through the dealership that the place I went last year is notorious for ripping customers off and not doing all the work they charge for . Well, crap. I'd just moved back here last year and I didn't KNOW where to take my car. My then-spouse was mechanically challenged, so whenever a problem w/ the car came up, it was ME who had to get the problem fixed. Needless to say, I've just been burned so many times that it's not even funny as far as car repairs are concerned. I know cars need repair and maintenance, but I just feel at the mercy of mechanics when it comes time to do repair/maintenance. I should be more proactive; I should LEARN more about automobiles and LEARN how to do some of this stuff. I'm basically screwing myself by NOT knowing!

My car just turned 90K miles; I know, I should get a new car. It's a '95 Cavalier - nice car. She's been good to me, overall. But dammit, I just paid this one off and, quite frankly, I just don't want car payments for at least a year. Goddess, gimme a freakin' break! The thing about new cars is that they ARE nice and sleek and smelling awfully good - but then the monthly payment comes due and I groan like I'm having a royal bowel movement or something - and then, by the time you finish paying it off, the car's old and beginning to need repairs (see rant above) and it's time to get yourself in debt for another several years! Vicious cycle, isn't it?

:::rant completed:::

So it snowed a bit this morning, but not much to speak of. Just cold, a bit windy, some blowing snow without accumulation. Living in Colorado, it's obvious that it's gonna snow, but I HATE driving in snow. How stupid is that? Not me, really - it's more about OTHER drivers. The jerks who drive too fast for conditions and then wipe out, nearly taking YOU with them, ya know? Excuse me, but doesn't common sense play a role here? (sigh)

Gosh...I hadn't realized how bitchy I am tonight! WOW - time to reign that in for a bit!

So, what's positive? Oh, I know! Been into "The Book of Secrets" by Loreena McKennitt the last few days - love The Mummers' Dance, of course, but also love The Highwayman and - my fave! - the fourth track, Marco Polo. Something extremely sensuous and lovely about that track. When I'm alone, I sway and dance slowly to it, lighting my incense and candles to set the mood.

My propensity for the latter - candles/incense - probably means that I have contributed an ungoddessly amount of money toward merchants who sell said products. I don't buy a 10-pack of tea lights - I buy those packs of 50 at the discount price! Hey, a girl's gotta have her tea lights in order to burn her scented oils, ya know? I swear, I'm not sure if my apt smells like a classy whorehouse in the Far East or a Buddhist Temple - ack, what a terrible comparison! The point is, my place is full of olfactory pleasures! :)

Ever thought about your personal fascinations? Right now one of mine is tarot decks - I love the artwork and I am collecting various decks. Recently bought an Egyptian deck that is right on the money as far as readings - did a reading for a friend of mine and he was astonished over the "nail-on-the-head" quality of the reading. Another would be silver - a lot of people get into gold, but I prefer anything silver - very moonish and goddessy, I think. Celitc knots - those are cool. Mead - I LOVE mead! I'm relatively new to mead, but just purchased a book on brewing mead. Wanna/gotta try that some day when I have room to experiment with that! Best mead? Lindisfarne, hands-down. From the U.K. Can't seem to get my hands on it over here. Chaucer's is okay; like it better than the stuff put out by Rocky Mtn Meadery. Celts, mind you, swilled a lot of mead!

Was reading about the history of the Celts and (not surprisingly), they had a thing for silver, as well. Those Celts were smart, innovative, and kicked major ass, I'm telling you! They whipped up on the Romans, took Rome and held it for 40 years, and generally gave the Romans a major case of ass because of it. The women were as feisty as the men; they would fight WITH the men in battle (to the astonishment of their adversaries!) and there is a tale of one woman who was very robust with very long red hair who made men tremble with her ferocity and strength! Hail to that bad-ass warrioress!

Next time I may write a bit about Scotland ... took a 10-day trip there and it was truly amazing. SO much seen and done...overwhelming...still not sure how to fit it all in words, but I must at some point. Alba -- that's what Scotland used to be called. Till next time, sweet blog, rest well and dream of quills and the finest ink of lore~~

2001-12-11T15:39:00.000-08:00

This I can believe!

2001-12-11T15:31:00.000-08:00

More tests - hey, I'm posting these so you'll TAKE them and e-mail me your results at lady_rowan_us@yahoo.com. Hey, I'm nosey - I gotta know how warped you are! =)

I am 65% British, just like
Sir Elton John
Roots in the UK, the rest of your hair is in the US.

Take the Brit Quiz at
www.darrenlondon.tripod.com/britquiz1.htm
Quiz written by Daz

2001-12-11T15:18:00.000-08:00

Yet another test for you guys to try; this one I like! Interestingly, "The Scream" is one of my most fave paintings - probably because of my frequent manic episodes - muwhawhahaha!

If I were a work of art, I would be Edvard Munch's The Scream.

I express the subconscious troubles and anxieties of the world. I hold my head and let loose the primal terror of my innermost fears, surrounded by a lurid landscape which reflects my feeble grasp on reality.

Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

2001-12-11T15:14:00.000-08:00

You know, this week is a slacker week for me - well, almost. I have one more final on Friday in art history (with the professor who laughingly calls himself a "benevolent dictator"). For the rest of this week, I'm writing, reading, immersing myself in music, and beginning to enjoy my winter vacation (till Jan 22nd when I have to begin spring semester). So I'm back after running some errands today - and making an appointment for my car tomorrow at 9 a.m. - and surfing the 'Net for some weird-ass sites and (my fave!) wacky assessment tests. They're all blowhards, of course, but it's still fun to see what twisted shit people have out there! I've already taken the utterly surreal test (which I didn't understand, but thought was damned funny nonetheless) and now I've just taken "What Kind of James Bond Villain Are You?" Yes, this is my slacker week - but I've worked my ass off in school the last month especially, so I freakin' deserve it, okay? (Getting a complex, are we?!)

Anyway - there might be weeks when I post nada on this blog - but for today - overload!

If I were a James Bond villain, I would be Mr Wint or Mr Kidd.

I enjoy strong cologne, the company of men, and stabbing people with flaming shish-kebabs.

I am played by Bruce Glover or Putter Smith in Diamonds Are Forever.

Who would you be? James Bond Villain Personality Test

Finally, today's rant is about how it sucks to be a woman when you need to have something repaired on your car. I know that sounds sexist, but I'm basing it on my treatment at automotive service shops. Seriously, I need to learn to repair cars myself so I don't feel at the mercy of these jerk-wads! ARGH!

All for now -

2001-12-11T09:47:00.000-08:00

I am a Collection of Elvis Impersonators.

I refine elastic nightmares with habitable abstract umbrellas. My perspective oranges enter forgotten densities of responsible soap. Evil lids of atomic paper eat my incomplete golf balls.

Who spices folded robots? The Utterly Surreal Test

2001-12-11T09:03:00.000-08:00

[12/11/2001 8:49:06 AM | B Porter]
Welcome to elemental.musings, my own personal blog. My coven, Silver Mountain Phoenix, has a group blog, so I got to thinking that it would be cool to try this out for myself, as well. Not that I have much to talk about of note - and not that the entries won't be utterly prosaic and boring - but one thing's for sure: it'll keep me journaling on a regular basis. Who knows what'll come out of that! On second thought, the idea is a bit scary!

Don't look for any profound insights or you'll surely be disappointed; in fact, you might discover just how mundane this witch's life truly is! Wish I could say I'm one of those dramatic glam witches, but that's not the case. I'm nothing more than a widowed, 36-year-old mother of two children who is seeking the holy grail of academic accomplishment at the University of Colorado. I also write articles professionally, but that's been on the backburner for a while - although now I'm writing a book with a co-author. Probably the best way to describe me is as a mild-mannered, seemingly unassuming average woman who has the inner soul of a Goth Vampire! I've always admired Elvira, and deep down I'd love to be her! But hell, there's only one Elvira - but in secret I can be my own Mistress of the Dark! :) Speaking of Elvira - she attended high school in Colorado, so you KNOW she has class!

Friends, friends, friends. Well, I have a lot of Internet friends - mostly writers I've known for years, but most of whom I've never met. There is a small circle of friends I've known since high school (pretty amazing we actually keep in touch!) Soulmates? Hmm...I've only have one soulmate, and if you've ever had the experience of meeting/loving your soulmate, 'tis nothing you'll ever forget!

Am single and getting used to being on my own again - it's a bittersweet thing in that I now have to reacquaint myself with who I am after being married for 16 years and identifying myself in a certain way all that time. Weird. Death of a loved one is a strange and scary thing - but more on that later, as it would take reams of paper to approach that subject.

For now, I'll post this puppy to officially kick off my blog - more drivels of boredom to follow....
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